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Språkövning med lite fjong

Discussion in 'Övrigt' started by SA3BYC, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. SA3BYC

    SA3BYC Well-Known Member

    Kan inte låta bli att skicka vidare en grej från ett Engelskt forum. Deras humor får mig ofta att dra på smilbanden, kanske det är lite för att det ofta finns lite anspelningar i deras små historier ...

    Den här får väl då stuvas in under epitetet språkövning, med en viss ekivok touch! Läs och skratta, eller för den delen döm mig hårt för min smak för lustigheter :D

    A college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible. The only catch was the story had to include three subjects:

    1: Religion
    2: Sexuality
    3: Mystery

    Below is the only A* essay.

    "Good god, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it."
     
    6 people like this.
  2. SM3GUJ

    SM3GUJ Well-Known Member

    6 people like this.
  3. LB1LF

    LB1LF Akademisk radiokverulant.

    -BYC - Minner om historien som av og til (feilaktig) tilskrives Hemingway: 'For sale: Baby shoes, never worn.'

    Det verste av alt er at det _er_ faktisk en komplett fortelling. Iallefall etter at man har fått barn selv.
     
  4. SM6GXV

    SM6GXV Korsdominant

    Ytterligare en liten språkövning:


    Eye halve a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rare lea ever wrong.

    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    Its letter perfect awl the weigh
    My chequer tolled me sew.
     
  5. SM0O

    SM0O Well-Known Member

    Från studenttiden vid Mittuniversitetet:

    (Helan går)

    Hell and gore, sing hope Father Allan Allan lay
    Hell and gore, sing hope Father Allan lay

    And then some in the hell and tar, han hell are in the hal van four

    Hell and gore-----------, sing hope Father Allan lay
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. SM2VJX

    SM2VJX Riktig radioamatör!

    God, I might be pregnant!
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. SA3BYC

    SA3BYC Well-Known Member

    Naturligtvis är det så att ibland har man försökt länge, då är det ju bra ... Dock i det här fallet, din tolkning Gustaf, är det väl en fördel om det är inom förhållandet, annars kan det nog ta hus i he ... :D
     
  8. SM5MX

    SM5MX Well-Known Member

    Min ena dotter påstår sig ha hört om en kille som utmärkte sig i det skriftliga inträdesprovet till Harvard bl a genom att ha svarat ytterst kortfattat på en av uppgifterna:

    Q: Define the word "courage"

    A: This!

    Och han lär ha kommit in.

    73,
    Rolf
    SM5MX
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2014
    1 person likes this.
  9. SM2VJX

    SM2VJX Riktig radioamatör!

    Ja i det fallet kan man ju lägga till kategorin "Drama" också... :D
     
  10. SA3BYC

    SA3BYC Well-Known Member

    Kategorin "vänta tills du har hela bilden klar för dig innan du babblar på" skulle kanske det här kunna höra hemma i :D

    Johan

    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. He walks over to her and she greets him warmly. He's rather taken aback because he can't figure out where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

    His mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I had sex with on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery?'

    She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'


    Hepp!
     
    3 people like this.
  11. SM6GXV

    SM6GXV Korsdominant

    Kollega fick detta i sin inkorg:

    Ämne: personlig

    Du är råd att åter bekräfta brevlådan konto för att undvika att förlora tillgång till din brevlåda konto. Underlåtenhet att göra detta kommer du att ha ditt konto avbrytas. Skydda ditt konto är vår främsta oro. att gå vidare med kontoåter validering och för admin assistans fylla i detaljerna nedan till nya brevlådan och du kommer att förlora någon av dina uppgifter.


    (Därefter följer ett formulär att fylla i med username, password, etc)
     
  12. SE5X

    SE5X Well-Known Member

    Mr Knott and Mr Watt

    Mr.Watt rang Mr.Knott.

    Knott: "Who's calling?"
    Watt: "Watt."
    Knott: "What is your name, please?"
    Watt: "Watt's my name."
    Knott: "That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
    Watt: "That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
    [Pause]
    Watt: "Is this James Brown?"
    Knott: "No, this is Knott."
    Watt: "Please tell me your name."
    Knott: "Will Knott."
    Watt: "Why not?"
    Knott: "Huh? What do you mean why not?"
    Watt: "Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
    Knott: "But I told you my name!"
    Watt: "No you didn't you said, "Will not".
    Knott: "Not not, Knott, Will Knott!"
    Watt: "That's what I mean."
    Knott: "So you know my name."
    Watt: "Of course not!"
    Knott: "Good. So now, what is yours?"
    Watt: "Watt. Yours?"
    Knott: "Your name!"
    Watt: "Watt's my name."
    Knott: "How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
    Watt: "Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet."
    Knott: "You've been patient? What about me?"
    [Pause]
    Knott: "I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet."
    "Of course not!"
    Knott: "See, you even know my name!"
    "Of course not!"
    Knott: "Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
    "Because I don't."
    [Pause]
    Knott: "What is your name?"
    Watt: "See, you do know!"
    Knott: "Of course not!"
    Watt:"Then why do you keep saying, Watt is your name."
    Knott: "To find out your name!"
    Watt: "But you already know it!"
    Knott: "What?"
    Watt: "See!"
    Knott: "Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what would your answer be?"
    Watt: "Watt's my name."
    Knott: "No, no, give me only one word."
    Watt: "Watt"
    Knott: "Your name!"
    Watt: "Right!"
    [Pause before it hits him]
    Knott: "Oh, Wright!"
    Watt: "Yeah!"
    Knott: "So why didn't you say so before?"
    Watt: "I told you so many times!"
    Knott: "You never said Wright before"
    Watt: "Of course I did."
    Knott: "OK I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
    Watt: "I do not."
    Knott: Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
    Watt: "I do not!"
    Knott: "Good!"
    Watt: "Oh, Guud!"
    Knott: "Good."
    Watt: "No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
    Knott: "No, it's Knott!"
    Watt: "Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
    Knott: "Yes Wright."
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. SM3GUJ

    SM3GUJ Well-Known Member

    Hej Lennart!

    Jag har alltid undrat vad Stan Getz fick, och vad Tom Waits väntade på. Och vem som var den förste Walter.

    Rolf
     
  14. SM0O

    SM0O Well-Known Member

    Och vem av medlemmarna som var Pink och vem som var Floyd ?

    I valsen "Svinsta Skär" berättar texten att "..flickan har blommor i håren..."
    Båda två ? Blir det inte väldans obekvämt att dansa då ?

    TILLÄGG: Man får anta, att ena blomsterkvasten kanske höll sig fräsch längre, eller ?

    SJ ville på 80-talet locka fler ungdomar att åka tåg och gjorde en egen film.
    Titeln blev "Långt ner i Hallsberg", succén uteblev...
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2014
  15. SM7FBJ

    SM7FBJ Bjarne

    Last edited: Nov 28, 2014
  16. SM7TJC

    SM7TJC Well-Known Member

    Apropå Stan Getz: Jag lyssnade en gång på nattradion och låtpresentatören var på väldigt gott humör. När han skulle spela en låt med Mr. Getz så sade han: "What Stan wants, Stan Getz".
    Lite senare spelades låten "I Ain't Got Nobody", vilken glatt översattes till "Jag har ingen kropp".
     

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